An Open Letter to Comics Publishers. A Rant

Modern comic books are 24 pages long. Some of that space goes to advertisements- everyone needs to make ends meet. What's left is usually only part of one story that may take 4 to 6 months of issues to complete.

What's the deal?

Forty years ago, a comic book was 48 pages long (and that was reduced from the previous standard of 64 pages. Still plenty of ads, but so what?). Each 48 page comic book sold for 12 cents and contained one or two lead features (usually 12 to 15 pages) and a few back-up features (6 or 7 pages each), a text story (one to two pages) and maybe a pin-up or a one-page humor strip. But wait! Each of those lead and back-up features was a COMPLETE STORY. I mean, in some cases we are talking about a three-act play in 6 pages! But now, a comics writer can't tell a story unless it takes 80+ pages ??

Part of the problem, as I see it, is that the comics publishers want stories of a certain length that they can repackage a few months later and re-sell as a trade paperback. All you have to do is add a new cover, a few sketch pages, a forward by a comics or media personality, and BAM! you have a whole book that you can publish and you've already bought and used the text and art once and gotten money back by selling that in serial form.

Another part of the problem is that comics stories are intentionally spread out over months to keep readers coming back. Thing is, I'd just as soon have a complete story I can read now and another I can read in 30 days, as opposed to waiting 30 days and losing interest in the outcome of a cliff -hanger.

Now look, I have no problem with comics publishers making money, this is a business. But surely, there are other marketing strategies to use here.

I hear stuff all the time that comics aren't being bought by kids like they used to. No wonder. Somewhere along the way, the big two publishers (DC and Marvel) decided that the best way to sell their comics was to pitch to the collector's market. Comics stopped being distributed to grocery and drug stores and were sold through the direct market system of comic book stores. And since the people who shopped at comic book stores were grown-ups who bought more mature titles, but still loved their childhood heroes, the baby was thrown out with the bathwater and superhero comics were aimed at a more "mature" audience. And they are now printed on bright, archival (read as expensive) paper that drives the price up to $3.00 a pop.

Here's the problem. Kids don't have cars. They also have an irregular disposable income. That means that kids have to depend on someone to drive them to the Comic Book store, rather than bike over to the corner store for a few comics. And, they never know when they will get back to said comics store. All this means: The comics cost too much for kids, aren't aimed at kids and aren't accessible to kids. End result. Kids don't buy comics.

So now you're saying "okay, smart guy, how would YOU fix it?'

Well, first of all, I would publish comics for adults and comics for kids. This is already being done to some degree. I have seen that many titles have an age rating, I do not live in a cave. But, remember, the comics that got all those grown-ups hooked as kids were written for an average age of 13. Tone down the sex and violence a little. I'm no prude and nobody wants a return to the dark ages of the Comics Code, just use a little sense.

Second, print the friggin' things on newsprint and cut the price down. Stop hiring hollywood writers and cut the price down. Don't worry about the collector market. One of the reasons old comics are rare and valuable is that they decompose because they were printed on crappy paper. Heck, you're just going to reprint it in a collected volume anyway.

Third, get your product back into markets that are accessible to children.

There, I'm done.

Anyone who has any questions or comments please feel free to leave a comment or e-mail me through this blog.

Doctor Strange- He's a REAL Doctor.

Comics are full of "Doctor"s. I sometimes wonder if there are more heroes and villains calling themselves "Doctor" or "Captain". Doctor Doom, Doctor Fate, Doctor Occult, Doctor Druid, Doctor Octopus, Doctor Midnight... you get the idea. But whereas most of these guys have PhD's, very few of them have an actual MD after their name.

Enter Doctor Stephen Strange, MD. who debuted in Strange Tales #110, although his origin wouldn't be revealed until Strange Tales #115. Dr. Strange was a brilliant and self-centered neurosurgeon whose hands were injured in an automobile accident. After trying every conventional means to restore his surgical talent, Strange undertakes a treacherous pilgrimage to the Far East, in search of a mystical hermit called the Ancient One.

After defeating the Ancient One's rogue disciple Baron Mordo, Strange becomes the Ancient One's new disciple, leaving surgery behind to become a Master of the Mystic Arts.

Doctor Strange has the power to leave his physical body to travel anywhere in the world, or even to other dimensions. He defends the Earth from mystical and trans dimensional invaders and has the enmity of several prominent demons.

Doctor Strange works as a mystical troubleshooter from his renovated brownstone in the Village where he lives with his manservant, Wong. I swear, I didn't make that up.

Steve Ditko, who was also the original Spider-Man artist, seems really at home drawing Doctor Strange. Psychedelic, mystical superheroes seem to have been right up his alley.

Saturday Morning 1966- Space Ghost.

Don't let that talk show fool you, there was a time when Space Ghost was a bad-ass played straight super hero.

Out of all the Hanna-Barbera created super heroes to hit Saturday Morning in the 1960's, Space Ghost is, in my opinion, the cream of the crop. Oh, sure, Bird Man is cool (although he loses his solar-driven superpowers every time he steps indoors or a cloud goes by) and the Galaxy Trio rock in a ripping off the Fantastic Four kinda way. And Mightor and the Herculoids are pretty smashing in a vaguely homo-erotic, caveman, Frazetta- barbarian sort of way. But Space Ghost has it all.

Space Ghost has a cool costume (he was designed by the inimitable Alex Toth),
not one, but two, count 'em two kid sidekicks,

a boss space ship,

his own planet as a secret base and-and this is the coolest part- a freakin' monkey!


His super powers include invisibility (I'm assuming that's where the "ghost" part comes in) and a ray for every occasion, fired from his wrist-mounted power bands. Heck, Space Ghost has been know to take out whole species and entire planets just to wrap up an episode.

He also has an impressive cast of recurring villains, Zorak, Moltar, Brak, Creature King, Web Woman (sometimes Spider Woman), Metallus, Lurker... There's even a storyline where all his villains team up and form the "Council of Doom" to get even with him.

You can still get the entire series on Amazon.com pretty cheap, so treat yourself.

You just can't beat a hero so cool that his emblem is a picture of himself.

PS: Avoid the 1981 cartoon series. It was stinky.

Captain Flash, Doctor Solar, Captain Atom and Nukla... Radioactive and Fabulous!

There's a whole subgenre of superhero that sprung up after WWII, the atomic superhero. Doubtless, after the U.S. dropped two atomic bombs on Japan, the subject of atomic power was on everyone's minds. A lot.

But unlike in Japan, where atomic energy produced nothing but giant monsters a'la Godzilla in film after film (inspired, doubtlessly, by the country's growing fears of possible genetic mutation due to having been exposed to so much radiation- sorry Japan.) here in the U.S. , we put a more positive spin on things. Atomic Power, which had made us the victors of WWII and the world's preeminent superpower MUST be a good thing. Instead of monsters, it gave us HEROES (to be fair, it gave US monsters, too. In the atomic age, monsters tended to shy away from the supernatural and more and more into embodiments of our own anxieties about the bomb).

Enter Captain Flash.

Published by the soon-to-be defunct Sterling Comics in 1954, Captain Flash was physicist Keith Spencer, who accidentally exposes himself to a deadly dose of cobalt. But instead of killing him, it gives him the ability to become an atomic superhero for two hours any time he claps his hands together. Heck, he's even riding a bomb on the cover of his first issue!

Captain Flash is also noteworthy because he is considered in some circles to be the first new superhero of the Silver Age. Captain Flash was drawn by Mike Sekowsky, who would go on to draw the Justice League of America.

Next up, Doctor Solar, Man of the Atom.


Published by Gold Key comics in 1962, Doctor Solar (or just Solar, or sometimes The Man of the Atom) was Doctor Phillip Solar. Dr. Solar was exposed to a deadly dose of radiation trying to save another scientist during a meltdown caused by a saboteur. Rather than killing him, the radiation caused him to be able to convert his body into any type of energy. And, for some reason, makes him green when he's a superhero. Dr. Solar's costume is actually a radiation suit that keeps him from irradiating everyone around him.

And they just keep coming. In 1960, Charlton Comics brought us Captain Atom.
Captain Atom was Dr. Allen Adam, who was working on a experimental rocket when it somehow launched prematurely with him inside it. He was launched into the upper atmosphere where his rocket exploded, atomizing him. He somehow reformed his body on Earth, now with super powers. (If any of you were wondering, Doctor Manhattan from The Watchmen is based on Captain Atom.) Captain Atom wears a costume that doubles as a radiation suit to protect the people around him from the deadly levels of radiation he emits. Sound familiar?

Hey, when an idea is hot, keep trying it. In 1965 , Dell Comics gave us Nukla.

Nukla (Created by Captain Atom Writer Joe Gill ) was Matthew Gibbs a pilot and spy for the CIA. When his spy plane was blown up by the Red Chinese, the nuclear energy of the corresponding explosion somehow allowed Matt to keep his consciousness and re-form his atomized body. Nukla has fabulous nuclear powers, like the ability to become immaterial at will and fire "radiation free"atomic energy bolts. How does THAT work?

Of course, most of Marvel's Silver Age pantheon of heroes have some sort of link to radiation, but these four heroes have a common theme. All were exposed to deadly radiation and all were transformed into heroic figures. They are each hoping to be the Superman of the Atomic Age. Sadly, none of them made it. Perhaps because, as the cold war continued to escalate, we just didn't want a hero who reminded us of our own tenuous position.

New Poll!

I've added a new poll- "who's your favorite, neglected hero?" The winning hero will be written up in a special article. Choose wisely. That is all.

Green Arrow's Arrows. A Quiver full of Whoop-Ass.

Green Arrow isn't just some tool in a Robin Hood costume, you know. He's also a member of that peculiar species of superhero known as a "gadgeteer". GA custom makes his own special, trick arrows, loaded with devices to help him in his never-ending battle against crime.

Here are a few examples:


#1. The Boxing Glove Arrow. Possibly the most iconic of GA's arrows, the Boxing glove arrow is just what is sounds like- an arrow with a big-ass boxing glove on the end of it. Maybe GA didn't know you could buy blunt-tipped arrows (used for squirrels) when he whipped this bad boy up. Whatever, it's a very memorable and cool trick arrow.




#2. The Boomerang Arrow. If you thought the Boxing Glove Arrow was aerodynamically improbable, try an arrow with a boomerang mounted on the end, that somehow manages to actually circle and return in flight.



#3. The Handcuff Arrow. An arrow with a pair of rigid handcuffs at the end. Which is VERY effective. Providing, of course, that your foe is willing to hold his wrists above his head about five inches apart and hold very still.

#4. The Drill Arrow. An arrow with-you guessed it- a motorized drill bit on the end.

#5. The Bolas Arrow. An arrow with a bolas that unfurls when it's fired. Used to entangle the legs of fleeing foes.

#6. The Jet Arrow. An arrow with a small jet engine in it. I don't really know why.

#7. The Antler Arrow. An arrow with a full-sized pair of moose antlers on it. Just in case you run into a moose in heat. If you thought the Boxing Glove arrow would be hard to fit in a quiver, try putting away an arrow with a full sized rack of moose antlers.


#8. The Buzz-Saw Arrow. Just in case you need to wantonly destroy nature.

#9. The Radio Arrow. When you really need someone within bowshot to talk to you via walkie-talkie.

#10. The Chimney Sweep Arrow. Speedy used this one to make a little extra dough to supplement his allowance. Isn't his guardian a millionaire? It's this kind of neglect that lead to Speedy's heroin problem.

#11. The Needle Arrow. (Insert Speedy's heroin problem joke here) Just in case you need to sew something really big together at a distance.

#12. The Mummy Arrow. It's head looks like a miniature Egyptian Sarcophagus. It wraps bad guys up like... well... a mummy.


Sometimes, it's like the writers were challenging each other to use the least likely things on the end of an arrow and still make it work in a story.

Gorilla My Dreams- Wonder Woman #163

For those of you only familiar with Giganta from The Challenge of the Super-Friends TV show, her Silver Age origin may surprise you. See, Giganta was not originally an arch-enemy for the Hanna-Barbera created Apache Chief, nor did she have the power to grow 50 feet tall.

No, Giganta was, well, a girl gorilla. A girl gorilla who fell in love with Wonder Woman's impossibly hot boyfriend, Col. Steve Trevor.

Seeing the gorilla's amorous advances towards Col. Trevor at the zoo, Wonder Woman's old enemy Dr. Psycho steals the gorilla and takes her to crackpot scientist Professor Zool, who has invented an "evolution machine". The machine evolves Giganta the gorilla into a large, muscular woman who wants to fight Wonder Woman for Steve. If you don't believe in evolution, this segment of the story will insult your beliefs. If you do believe in evolution, it will insult your intelligence. Honestly, I'd like to know just what environmental pressures and survival advantages prompted Giganta to evolve not only into a woman, but also to evolve a leopard-skin mini-dress and big hoop earrings.

Needless to say, Wonder Woman keeps her man and send Giganta off to Paradise Island for "rehabilitation".