Time Travel Week- " Look Upon My Furniture Casters Ye Mighty and Despair!! " Tales of Suspense #44

Tony Stark is many things: Inventor, Scientist, Wealthy Playboy, Humanitarian, Hero.... He is, however, neither an archaeologist nor a careful time-traveler.

It all starts with Tony taking a trip to Egypt to help out an archaeologist buddy. Well, wait, back up, it all actually starts on page two with Tony getting on the plane. And fielding questions from the press, who have apparently recently been to see the movie "Cleopatra" Starring Elizabeth Taylor. Or maybe that was Stan Lee. Anyway, instead of hard-hitting questions about Stark's business dealings or his involvement with the war in Vietnam, they ask things like this:



So, anyway, Stark goes to "Cleopatra-land" to help an archaeologist friend. Who apparently has managed to fund and launch a huge expedition without knowing where to dig. He's hoping Tony can help the team find the location of a hidden tomb. Tony recommends Iron Man for the job and then makes himself scarce while he "goes to look for him".

When Iron Man arrives at the site, he quickly uses a tiny fluoroscope to spot the hidden tomb (on the first try, no less) and then uses a drill attachment to tunnel a big, ugly hole in the side of an historically significant structure.


Iron Man and "Paul" the archaeologist quickly discover the mummy of King Hatap "The Mad Pharaoh" who was reputed to have been a master of black magic. Iron Man leaves the dig to Paul and switches back to Stark.

A short time later, Paul bursts into the main expedition tent to report that the mummy has been stolen. He leaves to organize a search party. It is then that Stark finds out he is being watched. Watched by none other than King Hatap!

Hatap reveals that he was never mummified. After a failed rebellion against Cleopatra, Hatap faked his own death with a powerful drug that put him into suspended animation. He was wrapped in linen and encased in a sarcophagus where he has remained for the last 2,500 years. He now plans to return to the past via a magic statue of a chariot that will let him travel through time and he plans to take Stark with him to aide him in his conquest.

When Stark and Hatap arrive in the past, the Romans are attacking Egypt. Stark slips away from Hatap and changes to Iron Man and fights off the Roman infantry who assume he's a god. Then, he mounts a tiny propeller on his foot and torpedoes a Roman galley.

Iron Man warns Cleopatra of the impending attack by Hatap. Cleo asks him to save her kingdom. Iron Man agrees and combats the approaching chariots of Hatap's forces with something unbeatable. Furniture casters.

Yes, that's right, Iron Man attaches furniture casters to his back and rolls across the sands of Egypt into the advancing army. Somehow, this defeats them.

Cleopatra falls for Iron Man, but he leaves for 1963, where he can find a life-sustaining electrical outlet.

On a final note: Hatap, you have a time-travel device. Why the @!#$ did you put yourself to sleep for 2,500 years? Why didn't you, say pop back to last week and tell yourself how you lost the upcoming battle?? Why are time machines always in the hands of the stupid?

Stop by tomorrow, when Superboy kills his parents. But don't worry, it's not his real parents, just Ma and Pa Kent!

Iron Man Makes His Debut - Tales of Suspense #89

When Iron Man first debuted in Tales of Suspense #89, two things about the story were remarkable. One, Iron Man looks like a guy made out of Iron. Two, it was topical. Tony Stark finds himself kidnapped in Vietnam, the prisoner of a band of "Red guerrillas". Doubtless, if DC had done a story like this in 1963, the protagonist would have been the prisoner of purple gorillas. Also, the technology behind Iron Man's amazing suit of armor is based in the real world. Sort of. Seems that Stan Lee and his brother, Larry Lieber, are very excited about that new technological breakthrough, the transistor.

From Wikipedia:

In electronics, a transistor is a semiconductor device commonly used to amplify or switch electronic signals. A transistor is made of a solid piece of a semiconductor material, with at least three terminals for connection to an external circuit. A voltage or current applied to one pair of the transistor's terminals changes the current flowing through another pair of terminals. Because the controlled (output) power can be much more than the controlling (input) power, the transistor provides amplification of a signal.

The transistor is the fundamental building block of modern electronic devices, and is used in radio, telephone, computer and other electronic systems. The transistor is often cited as being one of the greatest achievements in the 20th century, and some consider it one of the most important technological breakthroughs in human history. Some transistors are packaged individually but most are found in integrated circuits.

In fact, they're so excited about transistors, that they mention them 12 times within the 12 pages of this story. Transistors were a revolutionary piece of technology at the time, replacing the much larger and more fragile vacuum tubes and making it possible for teenagers to irritate people at the beach with portable radios.

It should be noted, however, that attaching a transistor to a big horseshoe magnet will not make it fling peoples' rifles away.

The artwork by the much unappreciated Don Heck, is gorgeous.

Anyway, If you haven't already seen the movie, Tony Stark is a weapons manufacturer/inventor who goes to Vietnam to test out some new transistorized small arms he's developed for the U.S. Army. He's wounded and captured by Communist insurgents. The Commies want him to build them some weapons before he dies of the shrapnel he took in the chest.

With the aid of a captured scientist, Stark builds the Iron Man armor from scrap iron and transistors, including the chest piece which keeps the shrapnel from reaching his heart. Transforming himself into the cybernetic superhero Iron Man, Stark defeats the Reds and acquires a new mission in life.