Green Arrow- Is a clown that dresses like your favorite superhero really THAT big a draw?? World's Finest Comics #100 and #138

They say great minds think alike. Well, I don't know about that, but two different writers of Green Arrow scripts, four years apart, both thought that a script where a circus clown dresses up like Green Arrow was a really keen idea.

Admittedly, I have only been to the circus once in my life, but I don't remember the clown acts being so topical. In our first clown outing "The case of the Green Error Clown", Green Arrow and Speedy accidentally switch quivers with a circus clown who calls himself, you guessed it, "Green Error". Amazingly , the Twins of the twanging bowstring (really? they're like 10 years and two feet apart. AND Speedy wears a red suit. "Twins"??)manage to defeat a gang of crooks with the clown's goofy trick arrows. Say, on a side note, who are these crooks who always rob the "gate receipts" from traveling circuses in comic books? Was there a crime wave of circus robberies in the 1950's I'm unaware of?

Next up, Green Arrow and Speedy go to another circus (I know they have a TV, I've seen it.) to see "Funny Arrow" a circus clown who's such a huge fan of the Green Arrow, he based his whole act on his favorite hero's exploits. Imitation IS the sincerest form of flattery. Being lampooned by a circus clown may be the lowest form of the sincerest form of flattery. Anyway, it begins to look like Funny Arrow is helping a gang of crooks rob Star City. But never fear, Green Arrow and Speedy are on the case.

Usually, G.A. and Speedy deliver a few more thrills in their 7 pages of comics, but stories like this may be the reason Green Arrow stayed a back-up feature AND got picked late to be in the Justice League. When Martian Manhunter and Aquaman got their applications to the JLA accepted a full 2 years before you did, you have to reevaluate your career choice.

Like most of the Green Arrow stories of the late 1950's and early 1960's, These two tales were drawn by the more-than-capable Lee Elias, of EC comics fame.

Superman's new friend may be rude, but Batman and Robin are a little...clingy. World's Finest Comics #94

Oddly enough, around issue 94 of World's Finest, the writers felt the need to give us an origin of the Batman/Superman team-up. There are two things wrong with this. One, this does not retell the actual story of the first Superman/Batman team-up and two, the framing device is a much better story.

Batman and Robin get wind of a revenge plot by a recently escaped Lex Luthor, so they rush to Metropolis to help their buddy, Superman. Superman shows up, but surprise! he has a new partner, Powerman.



Batman and Robin get their feelings hurt by the brusque manner in which Superman and his new friend blow them off. They even take potshots at Powerman, as if they're so insecure they have to tear him down behind Superman's back. My favorite slight is "Whoever he is, Superman had to carry him, he can't fly, so he hasn't superpowers." First of all, you guys don't have superpowers either. Secondly, the lack of flying ability does not logically eliminate the presence of superpowers. Aquaman can't fly, the Flash can't fly. Clearly jealousy has impaired their logic. To be fair, Powerman's only obvious power is his superhuman obnoxiousness:

Just so all you gentle readers won't worry too much for the fragile egos of the Dynamic Duo, I'll let you in on a little secret: Powerman is one of Superman's robots in disguise. Superman dressed him up so he could help if Luthor used Kryptonite without Batman and Robin being endangered by the evil genius' death ray device. I would like to point out that Superman's robots, in every other appearance, can fly. Also, I have no idea why Superman makes Powerman speak with a "remote control tape recorder device" when he could have just used his Super Ventriloquism.

Even more puzzling is why Superman seems to have such a low opinion of Batman and Robin's abilities to defend themselves against Lex Luthor.

Green Lantern's weakness: a rant

Green Lantern may be one of DC most iconic superheroes, but that won't stop me from airing my bemusement at what may be the lamest superhero weakness of all. See, in order for a superhero to be interesting and allow room for some dramatic tension, the hero has to have SOME vulnerability. Superman is vulnerable to the effects of Kryptonite and also to magic. Wonder Woman becomes powerless if you tie her hands together. Aquaman can only breathe out of water for an hour. Martian Manhunter becomes weak in the presence of fire. You get the idea.

Green Lantern, one of the most powerful heroes in the DC canon, has what may be the lamest vulnerability ever. GL can't use his virtually omnipotent power ring on anything yellow. I'll say that again. Green Lantern can't use his virtually omnipotent power ring on anything yellow.

Now, at first thought, that may seem perfectly reasonable. Everyone has something they can't do. But consider this: How subjective is the concept of "yellow". Never mind that the power ring and it's energy are green and that green is made by combining blue and yellow. Never mind that it might have made more sense if the ring wouldn't work on things that were red (the opposite of green on the color wheel). What is yellow?? Does the ring work on yellow green? How about yellow orange? How much blue or red have to be involved before something isn't strictly yellow?

Now, obviously, this weakness wouldn't be too big a deal. I mean, Green Lantern can still manipulate everyday non-yellow objects to, say, block a blow from a yellow folding chair or something. What's funny is how often important things in GL stories seem to just happen to be yellow. I mean, is he going around telling everyone that he's vulnerable to yellow? His lame vulnerability inevitably leads to situations like this:


Also, on the Super-Friends cartoons from the 70's and 80's, about 90% of the stuff Green Lantern picks up with his ring or even the stuff he makes with his ring seems to BE yellow. It's like the ink and paint department misunderstood the memo. "OH everything BUT yellow!! Boy do I feel silly!"

Catwoman- Running through the jungle in a gown and heels. Detective Comics #211

Even for 1954, this is a weird Batman story. Catwoman uses a live panther to rob a jewel shipment and then flies away in her cat-shaped plane. When Batman and Robin arrive at the airport, Batman finds some volcanic mud left by Catwoman's tire treads and deduces that she is using a volcanic island as her hideout. Somehow, the Dynamic Duo manages to find Catwoman and her plane before she can land. Catwoman uses her plane's claws to damage the Batplane and forces the Caped Crusaders to make an emergency landing on her island hideout.

Landing the Batplane near a mining operation they spotted from the air, Batman and Robin are told by the miners that they are afraid Catwoman is planning to rob their diamond mine. Batman offers to help set up some booby traps which the miners, who are really in cahoots with Catwoman, use to trap the Dynamic Duo.

The crooks are just about to off the Caped Crusaders when Catwoman stops them. She makes Batman and Robin trade their costumes for some homoerotic Tarzan get-ups (leaving them their masks) and then forces them to run through the jungle while she hunts them with the aid of her trained cat companions- a lion, a tiger, a panther and a leopard.

I won't give away the whole story, but of course the good guys win. Robin ponders at least three times how Catwoman could possibly be controlling these killer cats. Get over it! She just is! Also, there is a giant, killer gorilla involved.

Honestly, this story was kinda weak. It holds a certain weird fascination if only for the idea that Batman and Robin have to put on loincloths to play hide and seek with Catwoman. Also, the artwork by Dick Sprang is absolutely beautiful.

Marvel Monday- Will the REAL Captain Marvel please stand up?

I had a better topic for Marvel Monday, but my scanner is off-line for the present and I couldn't scan the images I wanted to use. Maybe next Monday. Don't despair, though, I will instead talk about Superman's greatest threat. No, not Lex Luthor, not Brainiac, not Kryptonite, not even The Prankster... I'm talking about Captain Marvel.

See, back in what was called The Golden Age, a whole new sub-genre of Science Fiction had been ushered in when two boys from Cleveland introduced the world to Superman in 1938. It didn't take long before the newsstands filled up with other publishers' takes on this new phenomenon; the superhero. Out of scores of lame copies and blatant rip-offs, there rose one serious contender to the throne: Captain Marvel.

Captain Marvel had some similarities to the Man of Tomorrow, to be sure. He was tall, dark-haired, handsome, and he wore tights and a cape. The good Captain was superhumanly strong and he could fly. Sound familiar? Sure. Except that could describe dozens of comic book superheroes, not just Superman. That didn't Stop National Periodical Publications (Today better know as DC Comics)from filing a law suit against rival publisher, Fawcett Comics.

The court case (started in the 1940's)dragged on for years. Eventually, the court found in Fawcett's favor. Captain Marvel WAS similar to Superman, but he was unique enough that there was found to be no copyright infringement.

Which was great news for Fawcett. Except for two things. One: the lawsuit had cost them a huge amount of money. And two: it was now the 1950's and superheroes weren't selling nearly as well as Westerns and Romance comics. The Golden Age of superheroes was over. Fawcett decided to sell their small stable of superhero titles off. Ironically, even though Fawcett had won the right to publish Captain Marvel, they ended up selling him to DC Comics, who (spitefully?) sat on him for 20 years and didn't use him.

But wait, things get weirder. DC decided in the 1970's to revive Captain Marvel and give him his own comic again. They even gave him his own live-action TV show on Saturday morning. The weird part is that they were afraid to call him Captain Marvel.

See, in the interim, while DC was sitting on a formerly hot property without actually publishing it, their newest rival, Marvel Comics, had decided that if nobody else was going to field a superhero named Captain Marvel, the name must be up for grabs, and wasn't it a great fit that Marvel Comics would have a guy named Captain Marvel?? So, Marvel Comics had a comic book in publication already called Captain Marvel when DC decided to bring the original Captain back.



To avoid a legal dispute, DC called the comic series and TV show SHAZAM!, after the aged wizard who gave Captain Marvel his superpowers. This lead to years of confusion. I know, as a kid, I thought Captain Marvel's name was SHAZAM!. His TV Show was called SHAZAM!, his action figure was sold as SHAZAM!, his Pepsi glasses say SHAZAM! on them. Heck, even his mid-1980's SUPER POWERS COLLECTION action figure was sold as SHAZAM! It seems pretty obvious that DC, having dragged Fawcett under due to a copyright lawsuit was afraid Marvel would do the same to them if DC went around claiming they owned the name Captain Marvel.

The saddest part of all of this, in my opinion, is that Captain Marvel was a great comic. It was quirky and fun and extremely creative. And it was destroyed before it's time. The later attempts to revive it and update it in the 1970's seemed cynical and awkward. The more recent attempts to hammer Captain Marvel into the continuity of the DC Universe seem even more ham-fisted.

No, for me, the real Captain Marvel vanished in the 1950's in a crash of thunder and lightning.

Kryptonite Wedding, "Superman's Girlfriend, Lois Lane #42

I only wish my scanner was working, so that I could show you the awesome splash panel for this story.

Okay, so get this: Lois sets up a hidden camera and gets some pictures of Superman switching identities. She then locks the camera in a weird little lead box around her waist like a fanny pack, so Superman can't fog the film with his X-ray vision. Then, she drives off to develop the pics, only to get into a car accident (where was Superman, then? See what happens when you mess with Superman?).

Turns out, Lois sustained a head injury that alters her personality and lets her feel comfortable blackmailing Superman. She tells him if he doesn't marry her tomorrow, she'll develop the film and expose (no pun intended) his secret identity. Superman has no choice (because his secret ID is just THAT important), so he agrees.

Superman takes Lois the next morning to the Fortress of Solitude (see Saturday, August 22, 2009) so she can see if she'd like to live there after they are married. Lois spends some time measuring the place for drapes, then her natural nosiness takes over. Finding an atomizer marked "rejuvenation spray" Lois decides she should spray herself with it. After all, Lois rationalizes "I'm not going to get wrinkled while HE stays young".

Problem is, the rejuvenation spray was a gift to Supes from an alien and it's never been tested on an Earthling (or a Kryptonian). Lois begins growing progressively younger, which leads to a wacky series of failed attempts to get a marriage license. Lois sprays Superman with the spray, too, hoping someone will agree to marry two teenagers, but then she becomes a child... it just gets sillier and creepier as it goes.

I won't spoil the ending, but needless to say, the Man of Steel remains a bachelor.

World's Finest Friday- a tip of the tiny, purple derby to World's Funnest

If there is anyone in the world who understands the magic of Silver Age DC comics, it has to be Evan Dorkin. In addition to his numerous other accomplishments, Mr. Dorkin authored a DC one-shot called "Superman-Batman: World's Funnest". Superman and Batman are only tangential characters in this awesome romp through the DC "Universe" as the action centers on those annoying 5th dimensional pests, Mr. Mxyzptlk and Bat-Mite. Look, making fun of something is easy, crafting a perfect parody is genius.

Mr. Dorkin starts us off with a brilliant homage to World's Finest, in which the "World's Finest Team" (Batman and Robin and Superman) have just foiled a team up by Lex Luthor and the Joker. But before the baddies can be sent off to jail (from which they will doubtless escape or be paroled), Bat-Mite shows up and decides to make things more exciting, and Mxyzptlk shows up to irritate Superman.

The two imps begin fighting and things soon get out of hand, escalating to the demise of the entire JLA and all the supporting casts of Batman and Superman (seeing Green Lantern taken out by a bunch of bananas is a riot). The beginning and ending sequences are beautifully illustrated by Dave Gibbons (of "Watchmen" fame). Once the Silver age is out of the way, Mxy and Bat-Mite take off, hopping from reality to reality, destroying everything in the DCU, including stop-overs at the Super-Friends, "The Dark Knight Returns", and "Kingdom Come". There's even a wonderful sequence in which Bat-mite expresses his dismay at how dark and violent and un-heroic all the modern DC heroes are (kudos, Mr. Dorkin!!). If you've never read this, track one down at Amazon, you won't be disappointed.

And, if you like this, please be sure to track down the anthology book "Bizarro Comics" by Evan Dorkin, et al. It's full of clever little goodies featuring your favorite DC heroes, re-interpreted by the indie-comics set.