Thursday, August 19, 2010

I Consider myself SCHOOLED! By My Five-Year-Old!

So this evening, we had the TV tuned in to Boomerang (I rightly thought my oldest boy would enjoy Atom Ant). I was in the kitchen talking with my wife, when the oh-so-familiar strains of the Space Ghost theme drifted in from the living room. Instantly, my 5-year-old appeared in the doorway- "DADDY! Space Ghost is on!". The Boy is no stranger to superheroes (imagine that) and has seen the entire run of Space Ghost -at least the original 1960's version-at least once.

Still, I was struck by his unbridled enthusiasm and I'm a sucker for Space Ghost, so I joined him in the living room. There, on the screen, a diminutive yet macrocephalic villain was commanding
several sinister-looking alien beasts. "Oh, look!" I said, "It's the Creature King!".

"That's not the Creature King;" said the Boy, "the Creature King is green."

"Nah, " I said "that's the Creature King. You're thinking of that bad guy on the Herculoids who's kinda like the Creature King."

Two seconds later the villain in question was referred to by name. That name was The Sorcerer.

"Oh." , I said. "It's the Sorcerer. You're right."

After a few moments contemplation the Boy spoke again. "Maybe the Sorcerer and The Creature King are friends..."

You have snatched the pebble from my hand, Grasshopper. You are now ready.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The Illegal Alien Problem. They're Taking Our Superhero Jobs!

Since Arizona's new Immigration Law has been in the news lately, ad nauseum, I thought I'd drag out another classic post. Also, I'm just too lazy to write anything new right now. I hope you enjoy it:

Seems like every day you read about another superhero job being filled by an illegal alien. I mean, first it was that guy from Krypton, going around acting like he was better than us. Next thing you know, he's bringing cousins and pets and a whole bottled city here, all taking our jobs and soaking up our yellow sunshine like there's no tomorrow.

Then, due to poor screening and security practices, the police department just hands out detective jobs to any old Martian who walks in off the street.

But that's just the tip of the iceberg. Next, a couple of winged weirdos from some place called Thanagar (try and find THAT on a map of the galaxy) come along and *poof!* they're in the Justice League of AMERICA. And I hear they got sweet jobs as museum curators or something. What? They too good to pick fruit or park cars?

And some Earthmen are even working for alien masters right under our noses. Did anybody ASK the Green Lantern Corps to send a guy to watch over Earth? I know I didn't. Who watches the watchmen? That's what I'd like to know!

And that Adam Strange guy! He should be here, using his skills to defend us, not some alien planet!

Even the Super-Friends internship went to a couple of aliens. Apparently, Wendy and Marvin (two decent, Earth teens) weren't good enough. The Super-Friends went and got a couple of aliens with "super powers" to take their slots. And they brought in a "space monkey". Did they even have to put that thing in quarantine??

No, it's gettin' so that a guy spends his whole life training and uses his millions of inherited dollars to become a crime fighter, only so he can see his job go to a bunch of "J'onny -come-lately's" from distant worlds. I, for one, find it sad.