Time Travel Week- "You're not my REAL Parents!", Superman #161

If you didn't know, prior to the revisions of the 1980's - Superman's adoptive parents, Ma and Pa Kent, died before he became Superman. It's been part of his origin since he had an origin. However, in 1963, Leo Dorfman and Al Plastino decided we needed to see just how they died.

Superboy builds a yacht for Ma and Pa Kent and sends them on a Caribbean holiday. While knocking about the islands, the Kents stumble on a buried chest. The chest contains some cutlasses and pistols and a scrap from a diary, dated 1717.

Wanting to find out why the pirate was marooned, the Kents ask Superboy to take them back to 1717 so they can watch. Superboy readily agrees.

The Fourth Dimension, now color-coded and labeled for your convenience.

Arriving at the appropriate date, the Kent family learns that the pirate Peg Leg Morgan is being marooned by Blackbeard. Pa asks if they ought to help Morgan, but Superboy cautions that they mustn't interfere with history.

Superboy is discovered by Blackbeard and his crew who make him dig a hole and bury himself up to his neck below the tideline. When the water comes in, Superboy flies away ('cause that won't mess with history!). The pirates assume they're just that drunk (they probably are) and Superboy takes his folks home to their own time.

The day after their return, Ma and Pa feel ill. A doctor is called who diagnoses the Kents with "Fever Plague" a rare ailment which died out 100 years ago. There's no cure.

Superboy tries everything to cure his parents. He obtains a rare sap from a giant orchid tree and heats it in a volcano. He lets Lex Luthor attempt to cure the Kents with a "Vibro-Health Restorer" (aren't those sold at very "special" stores?) hoping that Pa Kent , who is on the parole board, will help him out. In desperation, Clark even tries sending his folks to the Phantom Zone until a cure can be found, but the Phantom Zone projector is on the fritz. The Kents just die.

In memory of Ma and Pa Kent, Superboy carves a monument to them on an asteroid right next to the monument he carved of his real parents.

You're such an ass, Clark!

In the Silver Age, Superman (and Superboy) seems to have an unhealthy fixation on his birth parents. Yeah, I know, there are several stories where he gets to visit Krypton before it exploded and meet Jor-El and Lara, but fer cryin' out loud! The Kents raised him! They gave him his moral compass and made his dumb costumes. But can Superman ever refrain from pointing out that they're not his "real" parents? No.

Of course, Superboy could have just traveled back in time and told himself not to take his adoptive parents back to 1717...

What a jerk!

Superman is a selfish jerk -Action Comics #252

You would think that being Superman's only surviving relative would be a sweet deal. Not So. Poor Supergirl-last survivor of Krypton's Argo City- is not greeted with the warm welcome you'd expect.



Let's back up a minute here. This all starts when Superman (using his Telescopic Vision) spots a rocket crashing to Earth outside of Metropolis. Upon arriving to investigate, he finds that the rocket was carrying a lone passenger: a girl in a dress that looks like his Superman costume. The girl explains that she is Kara, Daughter of Superman's uncle Zor-El. She was born in Argo City, a Kryptonian city that was hurled, intact, into space when Krypton exploded. Unfortunately, the chunk of Krypton Argo City sat on began to turn into the poisonous element Kryptonite.

To ensure his daughter's safety, Zor-El built a small rocketship and sent her to the primitive planet, Earth, which he had been observing through his "Super-Space Telescope". Having seen Superman and overheard radio broadcasts stating that he had come from Krypton, Zor-El decided the best course of action was to dress his daughter up like Superman...so he would know she came from Krypton...

So, once Supergirl explains this to Superman they figure out that they're actually first cousins. Does Supes take her in?? Of course not! That might somehow jeopardize his all-important secret identity. So he slaps a wig on her and sends her to an orphanage.


Yeah, 'cause no brunette girl could possibly be from outer space!


Superman insists that Kara refrain from being Supergirl publicly, asking her to wait in reserve as a "secret weapon". In an orphanage. Way to go, Superman. Good lookin' out there.

I have to say that Clark Kent adopting his orphaned cousin would not be a big clue that he was Superman. Even if he allowed Supergirl to go public (which, remember, he's not going to do) , Lois Lane is not that bright. I mean, if a pair of glasses keeps her from recognizing Clark Kent as the love of her life, a wig ought to make recognition downright impossible.

Also, Superman has a whole friggin' secret Kryptonian hideout at the North pole, the Fortress of Solitude (see Silver Age Man-Caves). Why can't Supergirl stay there? Why does she have to be all sad and lonely in an orphanage??

Despite his public image as a selfless hero, in his personal life, Superman looks out for Superman first.