X-ray vision. A rant.

Today being the 115th anniversary of the discovery of X-Rays, I thought I'd revive a classic post:




Since X-ray vision is one of Superman's most used powers in the Silver Age, and is therefore bound to come up time and time again in this blog, I just want to set a few things straight.

X-ray vision was created as a convenient way for Superman to locate people without tearing the roofs off of houses or crashing through walls a la Kool-Aid man. However, it soon grew in scope, becoming the source of Superman's later separately named Heat vision.

In countless issues, Superman uses his X-ray vision to fog film, irradiate things, weld things, and even recharge a dying star. I would like to say, right here and now, that X-ray vision (if it existed) DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!!!

Look, I'm an artist not a physicist, but even I understand how X-rays work.

Superman was given X-ray vision, the power to see through solid objects (except lead). X-ray machines work by projecting low-level radioactivity or X-rays, through a solid object and onto a piece of photographic film. When the film is developed, the X-rays have created an image which shows more dense material like bone or metal (which are harder for the rays to penetrate) which may be encased in less dense material, such as flesh or wood. Since Superman is an extraterrestrial with a different physiology, it is conceivable that his vision would extend beyond the range of human sight and allow him to see other wavelengths of light or radiation (some animals can see heat, for instance) However, this would mean that Superman's eyes RECEIVE X-rays, not TRANSMIT them.

If this is the case, Superman cannot just go around fogging film and boiling water, and Heat vision is moot, or completely separate.

Now that I've got that settled, On with the blog.

Two Words for Jimmy Olsen: "DON'T TOUCH!"

It's time again for more adventure with that loveable doofus, Jimmy Olsen!


Only Jimmy could #@$% up a free vacation! Once Jimmy gets bored watching the crane load all that fascinating scrap iron into the ship (Is the Daily Planet so cheap it sent these guys on a cruise on a cargo ship?) he goes for a stroll along the beach. Which is something else only Jimmy could screw up-

Jimmy finds a mysterious ray gun inside which, of course, he needs to start shooting at living things:


Not satisfied with the ecological chaos sure to be caused by an enormous pseudopod, Jimmy experiments further-



Well, Jimmy, if it's so @#$%-ing obvious, why did you need to try it again?

Jimmy heads back to the ship, where he learns Clark has missed the boat (he was needed in space as Superman). Lois shows Jimmy the souvenirs she purchased, including a small turtle. Clearly, Lois plans to unleash some ecological havoc of her own, introducing alien species to Metropolis' fragile ecosystem. You know she's just going to flush that little turtle like 2 weeks after she gets back.

Anyway, Jimmy drops the raygun and it irradiates him and the turtle, with unlikely consequences. Jimmy is turned into a giant turtle man. Which apparently means you become covered with green, hexagonal scales (but no shell) your eyes look like they're made from ping-pong ball halves, you sprout pointy ears (even though turtles have no external ears.) and you also manifest a snazzy pair of large, black breifs.

Oh! and you go on a mindlessly destructive rampage.



Superman returns from space just in time to intervene and learns more about this mysterious growth ray from an old girlfriend:


Superman then uses his own mad science to fix the problem:

Wouldn't shrinking a giant turtle man just get you a smaller turtle man? I'm so confused.

If It Sells, Keep Sellin' It!

To say that Batman and Robin were a huge commercial success would be a vast understatement. True, Batman sold well for the eleven months he existed prior to adding his now-famous sidekick, but nothing like the household name he would become simply by adding a spunky kid to the team.

The combo was so successful, that every comics company rushed to imitate it, adding junior partners to their established heroes (often just a miniature version of the adult hero, such as the Human Torch's buddy, Toro) even DC itself. Few of these duos were very dynamic. Still, it had worked once, it would work again.

Not only did DC slap sidekicks on many of their existing heroes ( and by the Silver Age there were enough of these scamps to form their own team-the Teen Titans) and create heroic duos from whole cloth (Green Arrow and Speedy, for example) they also gave us an endless string of Batman and Robin wanna-be's.

Let me elaborate on that. I don't mean just pale imitations of Batman and Robin, I mean that, within the context of the Batman and Robin comics, the Dynamic duo encounter myriad crime-fighters who have based their careers on those of Batman and Robin. The Knight and Squire may be the most famous.


My personal favorite are B&R's Native American counterparts from the Southwest- Chief Man-of the Bats and Little Raven!



But, as mentioned, this formula for success was not limited to the pages of Batman. DC felt that what was good for the goose was good for the gander. Therefore, what had been good for Batman would have to be super for Superman. Enter Nightwing and Flamebird:



Not content to simply go around fixing all of Earth's problems, Superman decides he needs to also fight crime in the bottled city of Kandor.

For those who don't know, Kandor is a city that was shrunken, placed in a bottle and stolen by Brainiac all before Krypton exploded. Kandor currently resides on a table in Superman's Fortress of Solitude, where it sits under a red sun lamp (can't have a whole city of Supermen running around, can we?). Whenever Superman uses his shrink ray and stops by for a visit, he has no superpowers.

So, how will Superman fight crime in Kandor if he's not... super? He'll do it Batman-style. And he takes that lovable doofus, Jimmy Olsen along with him to play Robin.

Superman names himself Nightwing and Jimmy Flamebird, after two Kryptonian birds. He fashions costumes based vaguely on the birds' plumage. Pretty soon, they have a Nightcave, Nightmobile and even a Nighthound. Of course, Nightwing and Flamebird are a little spoiled by being Superman and Superman's Pal, so they wear jetbelts that allow them to fly.


"Er- ahem, that's NightWING, Jimmy!"



What's really remarkable, is that this concept didn't just yield a couple of memorable stories and vanish. In fact, Nightwing and Flamebird were one of the back-up features in Superman Family well into the 1970's- although at that point, Nightwing was Superman's cousin Van-Zee and Flamebird was Van-Zee's lab assistant, Ak-Var. (if you'd like to read one of those nifty stories, check out Diversions of the Groovy Kind)

Nowadays, if you mention Nightwing, people think of Dick Grayson after he quit being Robin. And Flamebird was also used again in Teen Titans, this time as a new name for the original Batgirl, Bette Kane.

The names have since been recycled several times.

Still, even though it was a throw-away idea that really broke no new ground, Nightwing and Flamebird's adventures were tremendously fun.

Lois Lane, You're Kinda Dumb!

You know, Lois, this cover kind of says it all. I mean, barring any BS explanations about "Super-hypnotism" or some such rubbish, you really aren't very observant. Aren't you a reporter?

Seriously, Lois, how can you idolize Superman and ridicule Clark Kent for being average and wimpy? Even with the glasses and the suit and tie, no amount of mild manners could hide the fact that your closest co-worker is built like a brick $#!+house.

And you know all those coincidences? The ones where Clark vanishes just as Superman turns up? The ones where Superman is dying of Kryptonite poisoning and Clark calls off work because he's upset? They're NOT coincidences! I don't care what Bruce Wayne said. I don't care that you saw Superman out your window while Clark was having dinner at your place. Clark Kent IS Superman!

Wake up, Sister! And while you're at it, tell Lana Lang she's not the brightest bulb, either.

Why doesn't anyone write comics like THIS anymore?

My scanner is offline this morning, and I'm a little short on time, so here's a classic post from last year.




Wow. I could write an entire blog on DC's World's Finest Comics alone. This particular issue, however is one of the finest examples of what would become a recurring theme in the Batman/Superman team-up title: Messing with Lois Lane's mind. See, Lois Lane, being the ace reporter she is, actually stumbles across Clark Kent changing into his Superman costume. Always ready to help a buddy out, Batman (and Robin-poor kid never gets any credit)decide to help Supes cloud the issue by making Lois question her own sanity. Highlights include trying to make her think Bruce Wayne may be Superman (Bruce takes her on a date and punches some lions in the face)



and an especially elaborate plot wherein Lois spends the day with Clark while Superman is supposed to be moving all her furniture to her new house (note: if you think owning a pickup truck makes you everyone's bitch when it's time to move house, try being the last son of Krypton). When Lois and Clark stop by there's Superman (Bruce Wayne in Super-drag) carrying out the last of her furniture in a big stack over his head. You know, I don't care how strong you are, don't scratch my antique sideboard just to save a couple trips. Aren't you super fast anyway?? Where was I ? Oh- "Superman" loads all the furniture into a moving van. Lois calls him on it and asks why he's not flying her stuff across town (the nerve of this bitch!) "Supes" explains that he rented the truck to help out a friend with a truck rental business and that he's just about to fly the whole truck away. He then picks up the truck and flies off. We are then treated to the "reality" of the situation. The truck is made of cardboard and is filled with a weather balloon and piloted by Robin. All of Lois' furniture was cleverly removed last night while Lois slept and replaced by papier mache copies....

You know, it might have been easier to just admit you were Superman. Think of all the crime that Batman and Robin didn't stop in the time it took to pull all this off. These guys have some really weird priorities.

What I find most remarkable about all this is how ENTERTAINING comics from the late 50's thru the mid 60's are. I mean, today's comics writers are too self-conscious to even TRY to pass something like this off. Sure it's nonsense. Sure everyone works so hard to protect Superman's identity they forget what's important... but the sheer nervy creativity of this story surpasses any tale of a grim superhero dealing with a mid-life crisis.

Boy, Adoption Sure Was Easier When Clark Was Little!- Superman's Girlfriend, Lois Lane #20

Superman is such a super guy, it would have to be wonderful to be married to him, right? Well, maybe not:


"Is it a big diamond? Did you crush some coal and make me a giant diamond? - Maybe you made us a planet?..."

Honeymoon OVER!

Lois and Clark head to the orphanage where Clark has been cruelly interring Kara ever since she arrived on Earth. They apply for adoption immediately and everything looks good, but wait, apparently in the early 1960's, the ideas of motherhood and a career don't mix:

Okay, that kid is just about ready for college. You're telling me, Lois can't write about fashion shows and inane inventions and Museums of Superstition and what Superman did today while her daughter is at school?

Anyway, Lois sacrifices her career to make Superman happy. And all he does is run off with their daughter all the time and save the world, leaving Lois with the housework. Except Superman vacuums the rugs by inhaling with his super-breath (YUCK!!) and Supergirl, volunteers to do the dishes- with disastrous results:



That snoopy broad in the window who looks suspiciously like Margaret Hamilton as Elmira Gulch in The Wizard of OZ is Mrs. Clayton, the investigator from the orphanage. Mrs. Clayton gets the wrong idea immediately, assuming Lois is lounging around all day while Linda does all the housework. Actually, I guess it is kinda the right idea, but being super, it takes Linda and Clark seconds to clean up, leaving Lois home all day with no-one to talk to but Superman's boring-ass robots:



While Lois is bored to tears, Superman and Supergirl get to go do fun things like this:

This would NEVER work! See my previous rant.

Meanwhile, Lois continues to try to play the role of homemaker. Having wrenched her back, she orders the Linda Lee robot to make the beds. Lois notices that the robot is not performing efficiently and soon spots a loose bolt, which she tries to bang into place with a hairbrush. Women! I don't know how many times I've caught my wife using any convenient, heavy object (no matter how precious) as a hammer, or using a butter knife instead of one of our 15 screwdrivers! The right tool for the right job, ladies. Wait, where was I?:



So, Lois gets caught beating her daughter by that busybody, Mrs. Clayton. Linda is taken away without the benefit of police involvement or a hearing or anything.

But, at least Lois is still married to Superman. I mean, a guy like that, he's got to be super-understanding, right?


Wrong! As per usual, Superman shows his true colors as a selfish jerk.

A Puzzling Piece of Merchandise...

This Masonite tray puzzle was given to me and Amy by my mother, who found it at a flea market. It used to hang in our kitchen, which was, at the time, superhero-themed. I suspect it was released to cash in on the popularity of the Dino DeLaurentis remake of King Kong, but that is absolutely Titano that Lois is struggling with.

My 4-year-old son is currently the custodian of this fabulous piece of Supermanana. I'd better get it back to his puzzle bin before he knows it's missing ;)

How'd He Tie That Bowtie Without Opposable Thumbs? Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #24

You didn't need to offer me free ice cream, you had me at gorilla!

This time, it wasn't really Jimmy's fault. Usually Jimmy Olsen is transformed into something else due to sheer stupidity or negligence, but this time, it was a fluke.

While helping Professor Thorne with an experimental "telepathy helmet" (to read the minds of animals- like THEY have anything to say!) Jimmy Olsen has an accident. After numerous failed attempts to read the minds of giraffes, rhinos and finally a gorilla, the professor is ready to give up. But Jimmy supposes that Superman, with his superior mind, may be able to make the machine work. Jimmy turns on his signal watch just as the gorilla reaches through the bars of it's cage and punches a few random buttons on the device. Blammo! Jimmy and the gorilla switch bodies a'la Freaky Friday.

Prof. Thorne lets Gorilla Jimmy out of the cage, but Jimmy's real body is running amok, swinging from trees and such. Gorilla Jimmy attempts to apprehend his wayward, gorilla- controlled body, just as Superman shows up. Thinking his pal is being attacked by a gorilla, Supes takes a swing at Jimmy.

After explaining the situation to Superman, Professor Thorne explains that it would take 100 years to try all 56,786,934 different button combinations. Superman runs through them all in no time, but Jimmy doesn't change back.

Prof. Thorne heads back to the lab to work on the problem. Superman takes custody of the gorilla in Jimmy's body and Jimmy goes home to put on some clothes.

Jimmy heads to the office, where he scares the Hell out of Lois Lane and Perry White. I don't know about you, but if I were turned into a gorilla, I'd call in sick. Normally, when this stuff happens, Jimmy runs off and joins a freak show. To prevent further incidents of gorilla-induced terror, Perry hangs a sign around Jimmy's neck that reads" 'Bonzo' Intelligent Gorilla! Tame! No Danger!". Personally I don't see why it couldn't have read " 'Jimmy' Intelligent Gorilla! Tame! No Danger!". Also, the word tame isn't very reassuring when followed by an exclamation point.

"Bonzo" decides to go out on the town, having a lunch of bananas at a fancy restaurant and taking in a wrestling match featuring wrestler known as "The Gorilla". The next evening he goes to the movies to see "Patrolman Gorilla" a movie about a gorilla who becomes a cop. Maybe this like how when some folks come out about being gay, all they talk about for a while is gay stuff. Like George Takei or Ellen DeGeneres. It took Ellen a while to get back to just being funny. Once the novelty wears off, I'm sure Jimmy will go back to finding non-gorilla -themed entertainment.

In no time, Jimmy is depressed about his new body. Superman tries to cheer him up by taking him on patrol. Jimmy's new abilities prove useful and he stops a crime and saves some kids from a fire. He even saves Clark Kent from suffocating in a time-lock vault at the bank (of course, Superman was perfectly safe, but his all-important secret identity was in danger!).

Checking on Professor Thorne's progress, Superman finally figures out that the missing element is Jimmy's ultrasonic signal watch. Activating the watch, Superman restores Jimmy to his own body- unbeknownst to Perry White who is suddenly attacked by the typing gorilla who was, seconds ago, Jimmy.

Of course, Superman and Jimmy save the Chief and the gorilla returns to the zoo.

This story was so awesome that it was not only reprinted in Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #116, it got the cover AGAIN!:

Luthor Steals the Sun, Superman Saves the Day, I get a Headache.

I found this little gem in my local comics shop's bargain basement for $1. It's a 1997 reprint of a 1953 Superman in 3-D. The GCD says it was included as a freebie with Superman Red/Superman Blue. Sadly, the "Super Glasses" were no longer in evidence, but I have a spare pair of 3-D glasses I keep with our comics just in case.

I read part of this this morning and part of it in the evening. I discovered that, although the comic looked wonderful in natural light, incandescent lights and 3-D glasses make me kind of sick. Also, the effect was far weaker by light bulb.

The story is fun. Lex Luthor uses a space ship with a force field to blot out the sun and holds the world for ransom. Superman is at his god-like best, immediately flying into action to build underground cities where mankind will survive into the future (?). Superman does a lot of flying around and battling missiles and tidal waves. Lois Lane perfunctorily gets herself captured.

Once Superman discovers who is blocking the sun and how, The Man of Steel simply busts in and punches Lex in the face.

A little anti-climactic.

It was nice to see Lex Luthor doing some evil science. I much prefer this Lex Luthor to the evil businessman-cum-president of today's comics.

The second feature was a 3-D retelling of Superman's origin. A retro-rocket in 3-D is a beautiful thing, my friends.

Supergirl Needs to Mind Her Own @#$! Business. Action Comics #289

Big key going into keyhole. Paging Dr. Freud.


After watching a movie in which a bachelor delays proposing and loses the only woman he ever loved, Supergirl gets it into her head that Superman needs to be fixed up. After all, she reasons "It doesn't look as if Superman is ever going to marry either Lois Lane or Lana Lang!"

So, Superman's cousin decides it's time to do a little Super-meddling. She heads right away to the Fortress of Solitude , fills out the "time-traveling log book" (which is a log of time-travels, not a book that travels through time) leaves a quick note for Supes and whoosh! she's off.

When Superman arrives at his Kryptonian Man Cave, he discovers an "urgent" note from Supergirl asking him to join her in the past, ASAP. Superman flies back to the appointed time and finds Supergirl waiting for him in Ancient Troy, where she hopes to hook him up with Helen.

Thank you Encyclopedia Made-upica!

After a few gladiatorial hi-jinks and the foiling of a royal plot, Helen gets pissed off because Supergirl is stealing her limelight. The Cousins of Steel head back to the present, empty-handed.

Next, while cleaning the Fortress, Supergirl has another stroke of inspiration. She coerces Superman into heading to the 30th century for a Legion of Superheroes Christmas party. She leads him to a time 10 years further into the future than usual, however, meaning that the Legionaires are all adults.

Supergirl decides Saturn Girl- now Saturn Woman- would be a good match for Kal-El. She then goes about setting things up so Supes and Saturn meet under the mistletoe. Superman has such a great time he goes in for seconds...

only to discover that Saturn Woman is married to Lightning Man.

Still blushing from his faux-pas, Superman and Supergirl head back to the present. Again.

Supergirl confesses her plan to Superman, prompting one of the most awkward and..creepy.. bits of exposition EVER:

Oh! and she's a child!

Supergirl tries one last time, this time looking for an adult duplicate of herself anywhere in the universe. (Still creepy). The Fortress' super-computer gives her the name of a planet where such a woman can be found (and displays it in Lite-Brite pegs!) and Superman is off! (Still creepy).



It's love at first sight for Superman and Superwoman (aka Luma Lynai) but alas it is not to be. Seems the Earth's yellow sun effects Superwoman like Kryptonite effects Superman. The lovers part ways after Superwoman insists that Superman must return to Earth for the greater good (maybe she met his cousin and noticed the creepy resemblance?) . Superman returns heart-broken and Supergirl swears off match-making.

The moral of the story is: don't take romantic advice from your teenage girl cousin, especially one who's in love with a boy who is also her horse.

Time Travel Week- "You're not my REAL Parents!", Superman #161

If you didn't know, prior to the revisions of the 1980's - Superman's adoptive parents, Ma and Pa Kent, died before he became Superman. It's been part of his origin since he had an origin. However, in 1963, Leo Dorfman and Al Plastino decided we needed to see just how they died.

Superboy builds a yacht for Ma and Pa Kent and sends them on a Caribbean holiday. While knocking about the islands, the Kents stumble on a buried chest. The chest contains some cutlasses and pistols and a scrap from a diary, dated 1717.

Wanting to find out why the pirate was marooned, the Kents ask Superboy to take them back to 1717 so they can watch. Superboy readily agrees.

The Fourth Dimension, now color-coded and labeled for your convenience.

Arriving at the appropriate date, the Kent family learns that the pirate Peg Leg Morgan is being marooned by Blackbeard. Pa asks if they ought to help Morgan, but Superboy cautions that they mustn't interfere with history.

Superboy is discovered by Blackbeard and his crew who make him dig a hole and bury himself up to his neck below the tideline. When the water comes in, Superboy flies away ('cause that won't mess with history!). The pirates assume they're just that drunk (they probably are) and Superboy takes his folks home to their own time.

The day after their return, Ma and Pa feel ill. A doctor is called who diagnoses the Kents with "Fever Plague" a rare ailment which died out 100 years ago. There's no cure.

Superboy tries everything to cure his parents. He obtains a rare sap from a giant orchid tree and heats it in a volcano. He lets Lex Luthor attempt to cure the Kents with a "Vibro-Health Restorer" (aren't those sold at very "special" stores?) hoping that Pa Kent , who is on the parole board, will help him out. In desperation, Clark even tries sending his folks to the Phantom Zone until a cure can be found, but the Phantom Zone projector is on the fritz. The Kents just die.

In memory of Ma and Pa Kent, Superboy carves a monument to them on an asteroid right next to the monument he carved of his real parents.

You're such an ass, Clark!

In the Silver Age, Superman (and Superboy) seems to have an unhealthy fixation on his birth parents. Yeah, I know, there are several stories where he gets to visit Krypton before it exploded and meet Jor-El and Lara, but fer cryin' out loud! The Kents raised him! They gave him his moral compass and made his dumb costumes. But can Superman ever refrain from pointing out that they're not his "real" parents? No.

Of course, Superboy could have just traveled back in time and told himself not to take his adoptive parents back to 1717...

What a jerk!

Superman is a selfish jerk -Action Comics #252

You would think that being Superman's only surviving relative would be a sweet deal. Not So. Poor Supergirl-last survivor of Krypton's Argo City- is not greeted with the warm welcome you'd expect.



Let's back up a minute here. This all starts when Superman (using his Telescopic Vision) spots a rocket crashing to Earth outside of Metropolis. Upon arriving to investigate, he finds that the rocket was carrying a lone passenger: a girl in a dress that looks like his Superman costume. The girl explains that she is Kara, Daughter of Superman's uncle Zor-El. She was born in Argo City, a Kryptonian city that was hurled, intact, into space when Krypton exploded. Unfortunately, the chunk of Krypton Argo City sat on began to turn into the poisonous element Kryptonite.

To ensure his daughter's safety, Zor-El built a small rocketship and sent her to the primitive planet, Earth, which he had been observing through his "Super-Space Telescope". Having seen Superman and overheard radio broadcasts stating that he had come from Krypton, Zor-El decided the best course of action was to dress his daughter up like Superman...so he would know she came from Krypton...

So, once Supergirl explains this to Superman they figure out that they're actually first cousins. Does Supes take her in?? Of course not! That might somehow jeopardize his all-important secret identity. So he slaps a wig on her and sends her to an orphanage.


Yeah, 'cause no brunette girl could possibly be from outer space!


Superman insists that Kara refrain from being Supergirl publicly, asking her to wait in reserve as a "secret weapon". In an orphanage. Way to go, Superman. Good lookin' out there.

I have to say that Clark Kent adopting his orphaned cousin would not be a big clue that he was Superman. Even if he allowed Supergirl to go public (which, remember, he's not going to do) , Lois Lane is not that bright. I mean, if a pair of glasses keeps her from recognizing Clark Kent as the love of her life, a wig ought to make recognition downright impossible.

Also, Superman has a whole friggin' secret Kryptonian hideout at the North pole, the Fortress of Solitude (see Silver Age Man-Caves). Why can't Supergirl stay there? Why does she have to be all sad and lonely in an orphanage??

Despite his public image as a selfless hero, in his personal life, Superman looks out for Superman first.

"The Witch of Metropolis" Superman's Girl Friend Lois Lane #1

I didn't realize that was spelled with a "W". Oh! Ha-ha! Witch!!



Lois Lane gets her own title (although it's pretty clear that she only got it by dating Superman) in this spectacular, debut issue.

Being the hard-hitting, investigative journalist that she is, Lois is sent to cover the opening of the new Museum of Superstition. Which, by the way, has like three exhibits; a taxidermied cat, a ladder, and two portraits. The portraits are of a young woman named Molly Todd in puritan garb and a scary hag named Mad Molly in the same clothes. Legend has it that Molly turned into a witch every night and cast evil spells.

Lois scoffs at the exhibits and begins to powder her nose before leaving. Upon accidentally dropping her compact and breaking its mirror, she jokes "...I suppose I'm doomed to 7 years bad luck! HA,HA!". The curator warns Lois that she shouldn't scoff and gives her a booklet of ancient legends.

Lois then hurries on to her next assignment, interviewing a scientist who is working on a "youth serum". Lois sniffs at the "odd fumes" which are coming out of the test tubes which hold all the scientist's trial batches -like she's Jimmy Olsen or something- and then goes home to write her articles.

As Lois begins to type, a change comes over her. She has transformed into a twisted, old crone! Grabbing up the booklet of ancient legends, she discovers that "...any maiden breaking a mirror before the witch's picture would also turn into a witch nightly for seven years!". Isn't "witch" more of an occupation?



Lois then does what any woman who suddenly found herself transformed into a horrible, old hag would do... she goes for a walk. And since the last person she'd want to see is Superman, he arrives right on cue.

Superman tells the "old lady" to be careful as two felons have just escaped from prison and he's searching for them in this neighborhood.

Two seconds later, Lois runs into said felons. The crooks get rough and start shooting. In desperation, Lois tries casting a spell on the bad guys and Lo! it works! Their bullets turn aside.

When Lois wakes up the next morning, she's back to normal. Of course, when the sun goes down that evening, poof!, witch time!

Lois starts abusing her newfound powers right away, scooping other reporters and feeling tempted to use her spells to learn Superman's secret ID.

Turns out, Lois wasn't cursed at all. She inhaled some of the fumes from a bad batch of youth serum that made her age (at sunset??). All this spell mumbo-jumbo has just been Superman following Lois (whom he recognized all along) and using his powers to simulate her "magic". Superman is spared from looking like a dick in all this, due to the Scientist's advice that the shock of learning about the age formula (which wore off on it's own) could harm Lois. Yeah, 'cause thinking you'll turn into a hideous crone every night for the next seven years isn't stressful at all.

HAPPY HALLOWE'EN Everyone!

Jimmy Olsen as "The Wolf-Man of Metropolis!" Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #44

I guess it was no real surprise how this happened. I mean, you leave an ancient, werewolf potion around where Jimmy can get to it and you know he's gonna drink it. Yeesh!

Best part is, Jimmy is turned into a wolf-man and the only cure is a kiss from a pretty girl. While he's a wolf-man. Good luck, Jimmy. That's a tall order for Jimmy, even if he wasn't a wolf-man. That bow tie alone has to repel chicks like mad.

Jimmy even tries offering a girl in the park money in exchange for a kiss. Yeah, I bet that's not the first time.

Luckily, Jimmy is Superman's Pal. The Man of Steel does Jimmy a solid and gets Supergirl to give him a little smooch. Of course, the kiss has to happen in the dark, since nobody knows there IS a Supergirl yet (I'll explain that one next week). It would have been far kinder to put a lead blindfold on Supergirl.


Of course, once you've kissed the Maid of Might, you're ruined for all others.

On a side note: How come any story on TV (I'm looking at YOU, Dark Shadows)or in comics where someone gets cursed to be a werewolf, the moon is full for like weeks on end? I mean, doesn't everybody know the full moon only lasts three days? Heck, technically it's only really full on day 2 of that.