Why doesn't anyone write comics like THIS anymore?

My scanner is offline this morning, and I'm a little short on time, so here's a classic post from last year.




Wow. I could write an entire blog on DC's World's Finest Comics alone. This particular issue, however is one of the finest examples of what would become a recurring theme in the Batman/Superman team-up title: Messing with Lois Lane's mind. See, Lois Lane, being the ace reporter she is, actually stumbles across Clark Kent changing into his Superman costume. Always ready to help a buddy out, Batman (and Robin-poor kid never gets any credit)decide to help Supes cloud the issue by making Lois question her own sanity. Highlights include trying to make her think Bruce Wayne may be Superman (Bruce takes her on a date and punches some lions in the face)



and an especially elaborate plot wherein Lois spends the day with Clark while Superman is supposed to be moving all her furniture to her new house (note: if you think owning a pickup truck makes you everyone's bitch when it's time to move house, try being the last son of Krypton). When Lois and Clark stop by there's Superman (Bruce Wayne in Super-drag) carrying out the last of her furniture in a big stack over his head. You know, I don't care how strong you are, don't scratch my antique sideboard just to save a couple trips. Aren't you super fast anyway?? Where was I ? Oh- "Superman" loads all the furniture into a moving van. Lois calls him on it and asks why he's not flying her stuff across town (the nerve of this bitch!) "Supes" explains that he rented the truck to help out a friend with a truck rental business and that he's just about to fly the whole truck away. He then picks up the truck and flies off. We are then treated to the "reality" of the situation. The truck is made of cardboard and is filled with a weather balloon and piloted by Robin. All of Lois' furniture was cleverly removed last night while Lois slept and replaced by papier mache copies....

You know, it might have been easier to just admit you were Superman. Think of all the crime that Batman and Robin didn't stop in the time it took to pull all this off. These guys have some really weird priorities.

What I find most remarkable about all this is how ENTERTAINING comics from the late 50's thru the mid 60's are. I mean, today's comics writers are too self-conscious to even TRY to pass something like this off. Sure it's nonsense. Sure everyone works so hard to protect Superman's identity they forget what's important... but the sheer nervy creativity of this story surpasses any tale of a grim superhero dealing with a mid-life crisis.

Green Arrow- Is a clown that dresses like your favorite superhero really THAT big a draw?? World's Finest Comics #100 and #138

They say great minds think alike. Well, I don't know about that, but two different writers of Green Arrow scripts, four years apart, both thought that a script where a circus clown dresses up like Green Arrow was a really keen idea.

Admittedly, I have only been to the circus once in my life, but I don't remember the clown acts being so topical. In our first clown outing "The case of the Green Error Clown", Green Arrow and Speedy accidentally switch quivers with a circus clown who calls himself, you guessed it, "Green Error". Amazingly , the Twins of the twanging bowstring (really? they're like 10 years and two feet apart. AND Speedy wears a red suit. "Twins"??)manage to defeat a gang of crooks with the clown's goofy trick arrows. Say, on a side note, who are these crooks who always rob the "gate receipts" from traveling circuses in comic books? Was there a crime wave of circus robberies in the 1950's I'm unaware of?

Next up, Green Arrow and Speedy go to another circus (I know they have a TV, I've seen it.) to see "Funny Arrow" a circus clown who's such a huge fan of the Green Arrow, he based his whole act on his favorite hero's exploits. Imitation IS the sincerest form of flattery. Being lampooned by a circus clown may be the lowest form of the sincerest form of flattery. Anyway, it begins to look like Funny Arrow is helping a gang of crooks rob Star City. But never fear, Green Arrow and Speedy are on the case.

Usually, G.A. and Speedy deliver a few more thrills in their 7 pages of comics, but stories like this may be the reason Green Arrow stayed a back-up feature AND got picked late to be in the Justice League. When Martian Manhunter and Aquaman got their applications to the JLA accepted a full 2 years before you did, you have to reevaluate your career choice.

Like most of the Green Arrow stories of the late 1950's and early 1960's, These two tales were drawn by the more-than-capable Lee Elias, of EC comics fame.

Superman's new friend may be rude, but Batman and Robin are a little...clingy. World's Finest Comics #94

Oddly enough, around issue 94 of World's Finest, the writers felt the need to give us an origin of the Batman/Superman team-up. There are two things wrong with this. One, this does not retell the actual story of the first Superman/Batman team-up and two, the framing device is a much better story.

Batman and Robin get wind of a revenge plot by a recently escaped Lex Luthor, so they rush to Metropolis to help their buddy, Superman. Superman shows up, but surprise! he has a new partner, Powerman.



Batman and Robin get their feelings hurt by the brusque manner in which Superman and his new friend blow them off. They even take potshots at Powerman, as if they're so insecure they have to tear him down behind Superman's back. My favorite slight is "Whoever he is, Superman had to carry him, he can't fly, so he hasn't superpowers." First of all, you guys don't have superpowers either. Secondly, the lack of flying ability does not logically eliminate the presence of superpowers. Aquaman can't fly, the Flash can't fly. Clearly jealousy has impaired their logic. To be fair, Powerman's only obvious power is his superhuman obnoxiousness:

Just so all you gentle readers won't worry too much for the fragile egos of the Dynamic Duo, I'll let you in on a little secret: Powerman is one of Superman's robots in disguise. Superman dressed him up so he could help if Luthor used Kryptonite without Batman and Robin being endangered by the evil genius' death ray device. I would like to point out that Superman's robots, in every other appearance, can fly. Also, I have no idea why Superman makes Powerman speak with a "remote control tape recorder device" when he could have just used his Super Ventriloquism.

Even more puzzling is why Superman seems to have such a low opinion of Batman and Robin's abilities to defend themselves against Lex Luthor.

World's Finest Friday- a tip of the tiny, purple derby to World's Funnest

If there is anyone in the world who understands the magic of Silver Age DC comics, it has to be Evan Dorkin. In addition to his numerous other accomplishments, Mr. Dorkin authored a DC one-shot called "Superman-Batman: World's Funnest". Superman and Batman are only tangential characters in this awesome romp through the DC "Universe" as the action centers on those annoying 5th dimensional pests, Mr. Mxyzptlk and Bat-Mite. Look, making fun of something is easy, crafting a perfect parody is genius.

Mr. Dorkin starts us off with a brilliant homage to World's Finest, in which the "World's Finest Team" (Batman and Robin and Superman) have just foiled a team up by Lex Luthor and the Joker. But before the baddies can be sent off to jail (from which they will doubtless escape or be paroled), Bat-Mite shows up and decides to make things more exciting, and Mxyzptlk shows up to irritate Superman.

The two imps begin fighting and things soon get out of hand, escalating to the demise of the entire JLA and all the supporting casts of Batman and Superman (seeing Green Lantern taken out by a bunch of bananas is a riot). The beginning and ending sequences are beautifully illustrated by Dave Gibbons (of "Watchmen" fame). Once the Silver age is out of the way, Mxy and Bat-Mite take off, hopping from reality to reality, destroying everything in the DCU, including stop-overs at the Super-Friends, "The Dark Knight Returns", and "Kingdom Come". There's even a wonderful sequence in which Bat-mite expresses his dismay at how dark and violent and un-heroic all the modern DC heroes are (kudos, Mr. Dorkin!!). If you've never read this, track one down at Amazon, you won't be disappointed.

And, if you like this, please be sure to track down the anthology book "Bizarro Comics" by Evan Dorkin, et al. It's full of clever little goodies featuring your favorite DC heroes, re-interpreted by the indie-comics set.