How'd He Tie That Bowtie Without Opposable Thumbs? Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #24

You didn't need to offer me free ice cream, you had me at gorilla!

This time, it wasn't really Jimmy's fault. Usually Jimmy Olsen is transformed into something else due to sheer stupidity or negligence, but this time, it was a fluke.

While helping Professor Thorne with an experimental "telepathy helmet" (to read the minds of animals- like THEY have anything to say!) Jimmy Olsen has an accident. After numerous failed attempts to read the minds of giraffes, rhinos and finally a gorilla, the professor is ready to give up. But Jimmy supposes that Superman, with his superior mind, may be able to make the machine work. Jimmy turns on his signal watch just as the gorilla reaches through the bars of it's cage and punches a few random buttons on the device. Blammo! Jimmy and the gorilla switch bodies a'la Freaky Friday.

Prof. Thorne lets Gorilla Jimmy out of the cage, but Jimmy's real body is running amok, swinging from trees and such. Gorilla Jimmy attempts to apprehend his wayward, gorilla- controlled body, just as Superman shows up. Thinking his pal is being attacked by a gorilla, Supes takes a swing at Jimmy.

After explaining the situation to Superman, Professor Thorne explains that it would take 100 years to try all 56,786,934 different button combinations. Superman runs through them all in no time, but Jimmy doesn't change back.

Prof. Thorne heads back to the lab to work on the problem. Superman takes custody of the gorilla in Jimmy's body and Jimmy goes home to put on some clothes.

Jimmy heads to the office, where he scares the Hell out of Lois Lane and Perry White. I don't know about you, but if I were turned into a gorilla, I'd call in sick. Normally, when this stuff happens, Jimmy runs off and joins a freak show. To prevent further incidents of gorilla-induced terror, Perry hangs a sign around Jimmy's neck that reads" 'Bonzo' Intelligent Gorilla! Tame! No Danger!". Personally I don't see why it couldn't have read " 'Jimmy' Intelligent Gorilla! Tame! No Danger!". Also, the word tame isn't very reassuring when followed by an exclamation point.

"Bonzo" decides to go out on the town, having a lunch of bananas at a fancy restaurant and taking in a wrestling match featuring wrestler known as "The Gorilla". The next evening he goes to the movies to see "Patrolman Gorilla" a movie about a gorilla who becomes a cop. Maybe this like how when some folks come out about being gay, all they talk about for a while is gay stuff. Like George Takei or Ellen DeGeneres. It took Ellen a while to get back to just being funny. Once the novelty wears off, I'm sure Jimmy will go back to finding non-gorilla -themed entertainment.

In no time, Jimmy is depressed about his new body. Superman tries to cheer him up by taking him on patrol. Jimmy's new abilities prove useful and he stops a crime and saves some kids from a fire. He even saves Clark Kent from suffocating in a time-lock vault at the bank (of course, Superman was perfectly safe, but his all-important secret identity was in danger!).

Checking on Professor Thorne's progress, Superman finally figures out that the missing element is Jimmy's ultrasonic signal watch. Activating the watch, Superman restores Jimmy to his own body- unbeknownst to Perry White who is suddenly attacked by the typing gorilla who was, seconds ago, Jimmy.

Of course, Superman and Jimmy save the Chief and the gorilla returns to the zoo.

This story was so awesome that it was not only reprinted in Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #116, it got the cover AGAIN!:

Gorillas Don't Have Sideburns. Flash #106

Gorilla Grodd may be the best-known talking gorilla supervillain in comics. He started off pretty inauspiciously, though. He didn't even get the cover of Flash #106 and gorillas almost ALWAYS got the cover.



Grodd's first appearance was as a second feature in Flash #106. Grodd arrives in Central City Park at the controls of an "all-purpose craft" which flies, submerses in water and bores through the Earth. immediately, the citizens of Central City begin reporting strange gorilla sightings.

These sightings trouble actor Fred Pearson who plays a gorilla on the stage in a play "The Great Gorilla" (I'm not generally a devotee of live theatre, so maybe I'm a poor judge, but does anyone out there think a theatre is going to pack the house every night with a dude in a gorilla suit?). Pearson keeps blacking out after and sometimes before the show and now people are seeing a gorilla in the streets at night. Fred calls his friend, policeman Barry Allen (aka the Flash) for some help.

On his way to meet with Fred, Flash spots a gorilla and gives chase, but the gorilla out-maneuvers the Fastest Man Alive in all-purpose craft. Flash then goes to meet with Pearson and hears his strange story first hand.

Meanwhile, we are introduced to Grodd who spends a lot of time thinking expositionally to himself about how he came from Gorilla City- a secret, hidden city in Africa populated by super-intelligent gorillas. Grodd is Gorilla City's lone criminal mind and he has come out into the human world seeking Solovar, the missing ruler of the gorillas. Solovar alone holds the power to control others by "force of mind". using his own telepathy, Grodd locates Solovar as a captive in a circus. Grodd rips the secret from Solovar's mind and returns to Gorilla City.

Solovar escapes from the circus and seeks out the Flash. Enlisting Flash's aide, Solovar and the Scarlet Speedster rush to Gorilla City where they quickly defeat Grodd. Apparently the spinning attack Flash uses on Grodd jots the force of mind power right out of him.

Flash returns home and tells Fred Pearson that his troubles are over.

This story is really short and really unimpressive. Apart from the fact that it features talking gorillas and a gorilla city, it really doesn't have much about it that speaks of the impact it will have for years to come.

As we have previously seen, evil talking genius gorillas are nothing new to DC at this time. And even an embryonic version of Gorilla City had been previously seen in a 1950's Congo Bill story- albeit a more rustic version made of bamboo and huts. Still, Grodd had something to him that made him return again and again, arguably becoming Flash's arch-enemy (or is that Mirror-Master or Captain Cold?- ask Pat at The Silver Age, that discussion can really drag out!). Even so, gorillas do not have sideburns.

Mad Science Marches On- Strange Adventures #56

Part Two- "The Jungle Emperor".

So, what happened to the super-intelligent gorilla from the previous issue of Strange Adventures? Well, the whole world finds out as he delivers an ultimatum via television: "Hear this you humans! As the most intelligent and powerful being on Earth, I proclaim myself King Gorilla, the sole sovereign of this planet! Tomorrow morning my gorilla ambassadors will appear in each country to accept control of your governments! Unless my rule is unanimously accepted in 24 hours, I will strike with all the scientific powers at my command! You have been warned!" I love how every sentence ends with an exclamation point.

Poor Dr. Jonas Mills sits helplessly by, watching the threats of his accidental monster. Unable to make more "Mutaton" in the time left to him, he has only the antidote to mutaton on hand. Unfortunately, Dr. Mills has no idea of King Gorilla's whereabouts.

The next morning, each capital city of each nation receives an envoy from King Gorilla in the form of more intelligent gorillas who arrive in "super-scientific planes", equipped with shields of electric force.

Studying the newsreel footage of the gorillas' departures, Dr. Mills determines that the gorillas cannot be living creatures. Seems the G-forces created by the planes' acceleration would crush even a gorilla. To test his theory, Dr. Mills plants a fake news story that he has "developed a new weapon that will vanquish the gorilla hordes should they try to enforce their ultimatum!". He then sets up a thermocouple in his laboratory and waits. As he expected, the gorillas who come to kidnap him give off no body heat- they're robot gorillas!! (Does it get any better than robot gorillas? Really?)

The robot gorillas abduct Dr. Mills and take him via flying wing to King Gorilla's HQ in Africa. King Gorilla tells Mills he's the only Human the gorillas need fear and must be eliminated. Dr. Mills tells KG he's on to him and that he knows the other gorillas are robots. KG admits he was "too clever" to make other gorillas as smart as himself.

Searching for Mills' super-weapon, KG finds the bottle of antidote, which he confiscates. He then prepares to launch his attack, locking Mills in a cage. Mills starts a fire which cracks the bottle of antidote and vaporizes it's contents. The fumes dumb down King Gorilla, while Mills, safe behind a jury-rigged gas filter keeps his head.

The android armies of the King Gorilla stop in their tracks as their control console in Africa succumbs to the fire. The Earth is saved and the gorilla- 'droids are put on display as a reminder of how close the world came to conquest.

Dr. Mills reflects on his hard-earned lesson: "It's better for evolution to take it's own slow, natural course in this world!"

The similarities between 1955's King Gorilla and 1959's Gorilla Grodd are remarkable. Both want to conquer the world through the use of super-science, both are talking gorilla megalomaniacs, both have airplanes at their disposal... Of course, Grodd hails from a kingdom of intelligent gorillas and was not tampered with by human science. In that respect, KG bears a stronger resemblance to 1964's Monsieur Mallah.

I also love how comics and movies of the 50's and 60's refer to what is clearly technology as "science". I realize that the technological advances described are the direct result of breakthroughs in sciences like physics, but a ray-gun is no more a "super-science weapon" than a crossbow. A crossbow uses the science of Newtonian physics, but would never be considered a weapon of "science" in the same way as a laser. Same goes for a stone knife.

Dr. Jonas Mills- What Were You Thinking? -Strange Adventures #55-56

Part One: " The Gorilla Who Challenged The World"

Ah, the good old days. Back when science really got things done! None of that fooling around with control subjects, verifying findings, safety protocols or even a pretense of the scientific method. When men were men and gorillas were plentiful test subjects.

Dr. Jonas Mills isolates the element in the body which controls evolution- "mutaton". So, logically, the first thing he does with his mutaton is inject a small dose into a gorilla ( a gorilla he goes out of his way to explain to himself he purchased from a dealer in wild animals- natch, they don't carry them at Petland, you know. Peebles' Pet Shop, sure, but not Petland).

The gorilla immediately gains the ability to speak English. Just the way our hominid forbears did when they left the trees. Dr. Mills injects himself to make himself an even bigger genius. Unbeknownst to Dr. Mills, he gave the gorilla a much more effective dose than planned. The gorilla is now a super-genius who wishes to rule the Earth. Since he is now so much smarter, Mills realizes that a very smart gorilla is potentially dangerous and concocts an antidote.

Mills puts the antidote into the gorilla's drinking water, but the gorilla surreptitiously pours the water into Dr. Mills' water pitcher. When Doctor Mills drinks the water, he is temporarily addled by his sudden drop in IQ and the genius Gorilla imprisons the scientist.



Mr. Smarty-Primate disguises himself as a portly human and begins a crime spree, using his gorilla strength and agility to steal supplies for his scheme. A few days later, attempting to apprehend their prime suspect, the police uncover his secret, gorilla identity. It's too late, however, as the gorilla has now obtained all the chemicals he needs for his plan.

Researching all the gorillas bought and sold in recent months, the police finally track the gorilla to Dr. Mills' lab. The gorilla holds the cops at bay, threatening to make Dr. Mills a complete moron if they don't allow him to escape. The gorilla breaks a steam pipe to create a diversion and then hops a tramp freighter for Africa with all the ingredients he needs to make mutaton!!


End part one.

So far, we have learned that , A: you shouldn't monkey with evolution and B: Sy Barry draws a good gorilla.

Ape-ril in January!!

Next week, I'm devoting the whole week's posts to the best thing to happen to comics since Superman... Gorillas!! There's a rumor that it was a common belief during the Silver Age that there was a direct correlation between single issue sales and the presence of a gorilla on the cover. Judging soley by the number of gorilla-related covers, I would say that seems likely.

Now, I know this is short notice, but I invite my fellow comics bloggers to join me in celebrating our primate brothers and sisters. That's right, I invite all of you to also post about gorilla comics all week next week. We could make this the best Gorilla week EVER! Discovery Channel has "Shark Week" we could have "Ape Week"!

Mykal- time to dust off those Magilla Gorilla and Grape Ape comics for the BBOKC, Maybe even that Weird War Tales with the gorilla sargent?. Apocolyte- Surely you have a nice REH or ERB B&W comic with scary apes. Groovy Agent- Maybe some Angel and the Ape or Marvel's Planet of the Apes? Pat- I'd love to see some Monsieur Mallah action or even the Mod Gorilla Boss! Jacque-.... well... Somebody is bound to have a story about apes in love??

I already have 5 stories ready to go and I'm writing them now, so I won't fall short like time travel week- So Help Me Grodd!!

Aaron

At the risk of sounding like a jerk... A frank confession

If you thought "Why I hate Manga" was honest and revealing, get ready for this.

At the risk of sounding like a jerk, I'm really not that big of a fan of the work of Steve Ditko. Or Jim Aparo. Or Neal Adams.

I know some of you out there just gasped in horror. And that's okay. I also hate the band RUSH... but let's focus on the topic at hand.

I mean no offense to the gentlemen I just named (or the memory of, in the case of Mr. Aparo), I've just never understood why so many of my peers love their work so much.

In the case of Ditko, while I love his early Doctor Strange work and I am a huge fan of the first run of Spider-Man, I always feel his people are a little.. weird.


And he seems to ink his own work a lot. I'm not opposed to that, but some artists are great pencillers who should NEVER be allowed to pick up a pen and/or brush. For instance, he did an early issue of Iron Man which was inked by Don Heck (I think?) and it looked WAY better than his Spidey work.

Mr. Ditko also designed some of the butt-ugliest costumes in comicdom. Electro, Mysterio, Mr. Doll...

And don't get me started on some of his Charlton work. I can't read The Question. I mean, sure, "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand was entertaining- mostly, but I couldn't live my life by it. And I wouldn't base a superhero on a philosophy of self-interest.

In the case of Neal Adams:

Coming from advertising and a very strong draftsman, Adams brought a new sense of design to comics in the 1970's. His "Long Ears" Batman would go on to influence a whole generation of comic book artists as did his unconventional storytelling style. Adams use of unusual panel layouts and figures breaking panel borders or even becoming panel borders would be admired and imitated by dozens, maybe hundreds of artists. Most of whom could not pull it off. In no time, every hack kid was trying to show how cutting edge he was by abandoning the standard 6-panel page. Well, you know something? You have to master the rules before you break them.

So, I guess that I not only don't really care all that much for Adams' art (Though I DO sincerely admire his skill.) I also despise the sweeping influence his art has had on comics ever since.

Although the makeover Adams gave Green Arrow back in 1969 almost makes up for all of it.

And now, Aparo. Jim Aparo, after Neal Adams is one of the best-remembered Batman artists of the 1970's. He also served as the primary Aquaman artist of the decade. His work was competent and effective, but not terribly exciting. At least on Batman and Aquaman. His work on books like The Spectre and Phantom Stranger was actually quite nice. When I discovered his work, however, in the late 1980's, I was appalled by how stiff and flat his figures were. How much he seemed to be "phoning in" his work. Everyone had the same ears, every hairstyle was similar, everyone's clothing was cut out of date and out of fashion. I used to eagerly read the issues of Detective Comics drawn by Norm Breyfogle and then, sadly, read Aparo's Batman, wishing someone else would draw it.

where's the storytelling here?

To be completely fair, toward the end of Green Arrow's 1980's series, Aparo did some of the most interesting art I had seen out of him in years. But I will always remember him as the mediocre Batman artist who made Robin's death so forgettable.

Please, don't judge me too harshly. It takes me no time to sit here at a desk and criticize the artwork of three masters of their field. It took these men years to perfect their art. They have all accomplished what I have not. But don't misconstrue this as sour grapes, either. I just get tired of hearing folks sing these artists' praises and having to nod politely for fear of being ostracized.

And if Steve Ditko or Neal Adams want to call me an asshole, that's fine. It's nothing personal, guys. Your artwork will always be remembered. I'm just one guy who doesn't dig it.

Why I Hate Manga- with apologies to my 17-year-old niece. a rant

To be fair, I don't really hate manga, per se. Manga are, after all, just comics from Japan. There is just as much diversity in Japanese comics (if not more) as there is in American comics. What I really dislike are some of the more common styles associated with manga and American "manga-style" comics. I also find that I often dislike people who are really into manga and anime (Emma, honey, this doesn't apply to you).

I actually am a big fan of Lone Wolf and Cub by Kazuao Koikoe and Goseki Kojima. The story is gripping and the artwork is positively breathtaking at times.



I am cognizant of the fact that Japanese artists have added volumes to the visual language of the comics medium and has a beautiful, visual rhythm all its own. I am quite aware that manga often includes widely varied pacing through use of devices like series of establishing shots and motion lines.

But I just don't like the way it looks. At least the trash the Japanese go out of their way to send us.

I hate those cutesy little faces with the big eyes and the little mouths.


I hate those jagged, gravity-defying hairdos.


I hate the weird androgyny of the characters. More than anything, I hate the use of lazy, visual shorthands like thought balloons with teardrops in them, or those weird, oval shaped mouths with gritted, perfectly squared teeth like a row of plus signs.

And, while I can tolerate the notion of the occasional manga-style version of a classic American superhero,

I really think a whole "mangaverse" is a lame idea.

I don't like Anime much, either. For the same aesthetic concerns. It's just personal preference. I DO like the design of the heroes on Ninja Force Gatchaman (Battle of the Planets, G-Force, Whatever), but it's probably only because they remind me of the Blue Falcon.





I know I'm probably stepping on more toes than Gigantor at a podiatry' convention, but it's just how I feel.