Monday, April 19, 2010
"I Hate Flash's Girlfriend!" and other observations
Luckily, I had a co-worker who sat near me who shared my passion for comics. He and I would read comics between calls and on our breaks and lunches. Sometimes we'd swap for the day. One day, we discovered that another co-worker, Rufus was a comics fan. Rufus was at least 20 years my senior and was a hard-working family man who just happened to have been a big fan of Silver Age comics during the Silver Age itself. Rufus would borrow our comics, sometimes the newer ones to see what was going on with his favorite characters of yesteryear, but mostly he wanted to read any reprints we had of "the good stuff". He preferred DC to Marvel because, as Rufus put it, "I prefer my heroes heroic."
One day, I brought in a re-issued 80-Page Giant of The Flash. Rufus was all over it like white on rice. When his break rolled around, I looked up to see him leaning over my cubicle. "Well?" I said, Rufus handed the comic back to me, thanked me, smiled,shook his head and said "I HATE Flash's girlfriend. She gets on my nerves."
"WHY?" You ask. "Why would Rufus dislike Flash's girlfriend Iris West so very much?"
Well, friends, I've anticipated your curiosity. Here are just a FEW examples:
She has no respect for Barry Allen's carreer as a Police Scientist...
I know this was before all those forensics shows on TV, but what the !@#$ does Iris think Barry does?? He's HELPING CATCH THE BAD GUYS!!
She's an immasculating shrew:
And, even though she seems to think The FLash is all man compared to Barry, she'll throw him over in a heartbeat...
Um, Iris, you're drooling.
So, yeah, I can totally understand why Rufus hates Flash's girlfriend. You know what? I hate her too.