Monday, January 11, 2010
Dr. Jonas Mills- What Were You Thinking? -Strange Adventures #55-56
Part One: " The Gorilla Who Challenged The World"
Ah, the good old days. Back when science really got things done! None of that fooling around with control subjects, verifying findings, safety protocols or even a pretense of the scientific method. When men were men and gorillas were plentiful test subjects.
Dr. Jonas Mills isolates the element in the body which controls evolution- "mutaton". So, logically, the first thing he does with his mutaton is inject a small dose into a gorilla ( a gorilla he goes out of his way to explain to himself he purchased from a dealer in wild animals- natch, they don't carry them at Petland, you know. Peebles' Pet Shop, sure, but not Petland).
The gorilla immediately gains the ability to speak English. Just the way our hominid forbears did when they left the trees. Dr. Mills injects himself to make himself an even bigger genius. Unbeknownst to Dr. Mills, he gave the gorilla a much more effective dose than planned. The gorilla is now a super-genius who wishes to rule the Earth. Since he is now so much smarter, Mills realizes that a very smart gorilla is potentially dangerous and concocts an antidote.
Mills puts the antidote into the gorilla's drinking water, but the gorilla surreptitiously pours the water into Dr. Mills' water pitcher. When Doctor Mills drinks the water, he is temporarily addled by his sudden drop in IQ and the genius Gorilla imprisons the scientist.
Mr. Smarty-Primate disguises himself as a portly human and begins a crime spree, using his gorilla strength and agility to steal supplies for his scheme. A few days later, attempting to apprehend their prime suspect, the police uncover his secret, gorilla identity. It's too late, however, as the gorilla has now obtained all the chemicals he needs for his plan.
Researching all the gorillas bought and sold in recent months, the police finally track the gorilla to Dr. Mills' lab. The gorilla holds the cops at bay, threatening to make Dr. Mills a complete moron if they don't allow him to escape. The gorilla breaks a steam pipe to create a diversion and then hops a tramp freighter for Africa with all the ingredients he needs to make mutaton!!
End part one.
So far, we have learned that , A: you shouldn't monkey with evolution and B: Sy Barry draws a good gorilla.